Duck, duck, “the Bird”

Pat Fule
Fule for Thought

 

Some of the SHS staff were talking in the staff room about fitness, health, and weight control. As many of you know, I am on a bit of a rollercoaster with my weight, mainly because of one important fact: I’m quite lazy.
So, one colleague said “if your doctor tells you it’s time to change your lifestyle … it’s too late!”
Wow, I thought, my doctor told me that when I was in my 30s! How am I still alive?! So, I’m back on the fitness train … with less time on the gravy train! I actually heard a DJ tell a funny thing about her dad. It turns out he’s been given the same advice as me … get using that treadmill! She said her dad has a unique addition to his workout. He actually walks with a Rum and Coke held safely in the water bottle holder. He calls it his “Bacardio Workout!”
I guess that’s one way to approach exercise … find a way to put some fun into it. Of course, it wouldn’t help if you got so plastered that you fell on the moving tread! That would be a tough thing to explain at the emergency room!
There are two things I dread now that I’m, how shall we put this, rotund. The first one is obvious. Wearing a shirt and tie is horrible, as it forces your chins way up and gives that bullfrog appearance that is not very fashionable!
The second thing that is tougher now, is tying shoes. There are times that when I bend over to tie up my runners, I change my mind until I find a set of stairs where I can put up my foot! You know it’s time for a lifestyle change when you’d rather walk with your laces undone, than risk a stroke bending over to tie them! Heck, I’ve even started to look at Velcro runners, so now’s the time to do something!
We were up in Camrose for a wedding on the weekend, and I decided to go for a brisk, healthy walk. Okay, the truth is, I was walking to find a liquor store! But hey, baby steps, right? … At least I walked! On the way back, a couple with a young boy and girl were right at the side of turn lane on a busy street. It turns out that a mama duck’s six babies fell down a storm water grate, and she kept waddling to it, to try and get them. The couple was trying to slow down cars turning, and steer them around the mama duck, and she was getting pretty frantic about her babies! So, while I was there, the dad called the police and the City of Camrose. Within minutes, two police cars arrived, and with their flashers, blocked off part of the lane so that a city worker would be able to help rescue the ducklings! I thought what an amazing thing that couple did, to save these ducklings, and what a great lesson for their kids.
It reminded me of my own duck incident a couple of weeks ago. On the road by the Petro Canada, I stopped my car to let a mama duck cross the road. I gave plenty of warning, and there was only one guy behind. I guess this guy wasn’t a nature lover because I got “the finger” and a blast on his horn for stopping. Oh well, the duck got across safely … and it’s not the first time I’ve been given “the bird!” (Ha! “Bird” … Duck … same thing!)
So, you may see me and a host of others walking the pathways now, and you can bet I’ll be keeping an eye out for the new ducklings and goslings! I sure hope I don’t see that same car again, I could get a complex!

(“Fule for Thought” is a slice of life humourous column that appears in the Strathmore Times, written by long-time resident, town councillor, high school teacher, coach, husband and father of two – Pat Fule. If you would like to get in touch with Pat, you can send him an e-mail at Pat.fule@shaw.ca)