Not the best of times … the worst of times!

Pat Fule
Fule for Thought

 

So, it was spring budget time for town council this past weekend. It’s a time to make decisions for the future, fund new projects that have arisen, set goals, and learn more about what large projects are on the horizon for the future.
I was telling one of my English classes about it, and that I’d be busy Friday night, all day Saturday, and Sunday morning. I was trying to hint that their English essays may not get marked, and then I joked that maybe I could slip in buying a tractor if they needed one! I found out that you should not joke about these things, because kids believe you!
One student came up and asked, “can you really get me a tractor, cuz my dad needs one for our farm.”
“Oh no, I’m so sorry,” I replied. “I was just joking, if I tried that, I’d get run out of town … or worse!”
He seemed disappointed, but I learned a lesson about joking in politics!
During the budget process, we work through a large binder, with budget items/staffing needs separated by colored dividers with tabs.
Councillor Steve was having some problems as we switched and moved through this binder. We actually were trying to be helpful as we called out, “it’s behind the red divider, Steve,” or “try the blue divider.”
After a while, Steve finally reminded us, “hey, easy for you people, you’re not color blind!”
Crap … that’s when we realized every divider looked the same … no wonder he was struggling!
Going through these budget items got me thinking about other types of lists, and after a weekend of dealing with some pretty weighty issues, I started to compile my own “Worst of List.”
So, feel free to agree or disagree with some of these! I have listed my worst three things in various categories. Maybe they’ll bring back some horrible memories you have! Now you may also disagree, but we all have our own tastes!
Worst Movies: 3) Bridges of Madison County 2) Jack and Jill 1) Batman & Robin
Worst Movie Actors: 3) Luke Wilson 2) Nicholas Cage 1) Arnold Schwarzenegger
Worst Movie Actresses: 3) Kristan Stewart 2) Lindsay Lohan 1) Miley Cyrus
Worst Movie Musicals: 3) Grease 2 2) West Side Story 1) Sgt. Pepper (1978)
Worst TV SitComs: 3) Dukes of Hazzard 2) Three’s Company 1) Golden Girls
Worst TV Dramas: 3) Dallas 2) Caribe 1) Pan Am
Worst TV Sci Fi: 3) Lost In Space 2) Space:1999 3) The Startlost
Worst Talk Shows: 3) The View 2) Maury 1) Jerry Springer
Worst Reality Shows: 3) Fresh Princes of BelAir 2) Growing Up Gotti 1) My Super Sweet 16
Worst TV Actors: 3) David Caruso 2) Charlie Sheen 1) Ashton Kutcher
Worst TV Actresses: 3) Kathy Griffin 2) Fran Drescher 1) Roseanne Barr
Worst Comedians: 3) Roseanne Barr 2) Sklar Brothers 1) Andrew Dice Clay
Worst Songs EVER: 3) Ring My Bell 2) Friday 1) I Will Survive
Worst Male Singers: 3) Justin Bieber 2) Bob Dylan 1) Wayne Newton
Worst Female Singers: 3) Ke$sha 2) Miley Cyrus 1) Gloria Gaynor
Worst Bands: 3) Yes 2) Jonas Brothers 1) Blood, Sweat & Tears
Worst Books I’ve Read: 3) Catcher in the Rye 2) The Apprenticeship of Duddy Kravitz 1) The Return of the Native
So there you have my list … and let the discussions/arguments begin!

(“Fule for Thought” is a slice of life humourous column that appears in the Strathmore Times, written by long-time resident, town councillor, high school teacher, coach, husband and father of two – Pat Fule. If you would like to get in touch with Pat, you can send him an e-mail at Pat.fule@shaw.ca)