Random remembrances

Fule for Thought

 

Usually, I try to keep some sort of “train of thought” with my columns … you know, somehow they are supposed to tie in to some common theme. However, sometimes a person has random memories, or random things that have happened, and they don’t all tie in together. So, I guess the theme of this week is that there is no common thread between these happenings … they’re just that: random!

My parents were both European and very hard working. They took time off work not to travel, but to do projects around the house and yard. In fact, we never even had a barbecue until I hit high school! We used to have the old briquette style ones, but one day, my dad brought home a more deluxe one. My parents were so proud, but my mom was also worried that someone might steal this barbecue! One June day, I came home from school to see that Mom had made sure no one was getting our barbecue. The problem was that she had used old shoelaces to tie the barbecue to the deck rails! I asked her if she thought that “bad guys” might not just cut the laces, and steal the barbecue? That’s when she smiled, and realized her security system had some flaws!

When I was at University, my dad called me to tell me that he had bought a new device for his TV … a satellite dish! Now, I asked him a lot of times, if he was sure it was a satellite dish, and he was getting a bit defensive! The next weekend I came home to find a TV antenna that looked like a satellite dish! I asked him if he’d noticed any more channels, and then I had to break the news to him that it was just a set of fancy “rabbit ears” antennae, and not really a dish. He had a similar smile to the one Mom had with the barbecue!

Everyone thinks little Debbie is so angelic! Well, let’s set the record straight … there’s a dark side to her, too! Years ago as a girl, she challenged her younger sister to a foot race. It was winter, and her sister did not know that Debbie had planned this all. She told her sister to run on top of the snow ridge that the snowplow made, and that she’d race alongside on the road. The race was on, and Sherie ran as fast as she could. What she didn’t know, was that Debbie had dug a deep hole in one spot of the ridge, covered it with a blanket, and some light snow for the trap! Did I mention that Deb also poured some pitchers of water to freeze the hole, and secure the covered blanket?! Sherie ran as fast as she could, and after a long sprint, crashed down into the hole! I’m told there were screams, tears, and some bad words! I don’t think Sherie trusted Debbie as much after this trick!

Back in university, I took a “non-impact” winter backpack course as part of my B.PE degree. That means you pack in everything you need, and then carry it all back out. We were to ski in, set up a tent, cook, and carry out everything we brought. Well, our prof didn’t count on a guy named “Mack.” 

Skiing to Shadow Lake, Mack and I were well behind the prof because he had us stay back to ski with the last skier, who kept falling behind. Pretty soon, there was a large gap, and Mack began his impact camping course! As we skied, Mack pulled out cans of Coors beer, and offered me one. Now, I wanted to pass this class, and stay out of trouble, so I turned it down! Sure enough, Mack drank beer, and tossed empties behind him! I tried to reason with him, but he really didn’t care, and we had to keep up. By the time we got to camp, packed down the snow, and pitched our tent, Mack was drunk! He didn’t eat any of the cooked food, retired in to the tent, and I’m pretty sure the Coors kept flowing. It wasn’t just the Coors that kept flowing! All night, Mack had to get up, and stagger through deep snow to relieve himself! Neither one of us got much sleep, and I do recall calling him a few names! Come to think of it, that may have been the start of my hatred of camping!

Many years ago, our school had a caretaker who found interesting ways to get jobs done. Take fertilizing the school grass, for instance. As I looked out the staff room, I burst into laughter … I had to get others to see the sight! The guy and his assistant were fertilizing all right, but he was driving a lawn tractor, with a pull behind “spreader,” while his partner jogged alongside carrying a huge bag of fertilizer! The “boss” got to drive the tractor, and his assistant’s job was to frantically keep up to the tractor while pouring in a steady supply of fertilizer (I guess it’s always a good idea to have a minion)! Hopefully, this random column brought you a bit of random smiles!

(“Fule for Thought” is a slice of life humourous column that appears in the Strathmore Times, written by long-time resident, town councillor, high school teacher, coach, husband and father of two – Pat Fule. If you would like to get in touch with Pat, you can send him an e-mail at Pat.fule@shaw.ca)