It’s a boy! It’s a boy!
Pat Fule
Fule for Thought
Yes, you 42 readers, the great news is that it’s a boy! What do the Fules do on a Friday night in cold November? We check out the sex of a hedgehog. After reading up about it, and seeing the disturbing photos, I felt it was time to find out what we had! Sonic is officially a boy hedgehog, and we can all breathe a little easier (by now, you’re probably tired of hearing about him, but at least he and Brodie are becoming friends)!
In fact, Brodie looks for him at the cage bars and they were actually nose to nose sniffing each other. It was quite the sight to see my deaf dog sniffing the nearly blind hedgehog. Sadly, the moment ended abruptly, when Brodie sneezed! Now, hedgehogs are not known for their blistering speed, but that sneeze sent him waddling so fast into his “house,” I thought he was in the “Rodent Olympics!”
I think, as I’ve seen on his exercise wheel, that pooing while he runs is a habit he can’t break! Again, what kind of a defense mechanism is that … it’s like fight, flight, or poo …. or two out of three!
On the subject of bathroom breaks, you’ve probably all noticed that men and women approach visits to public restrooms very differently. Gals will often ask another to go with them for company … God knows why!? Men on the other hand would never think of turning to their buddy and saying “I’m going to the can, wanna come with?”
I’m pretty sure the response would either be laughter and shock, or a swear filled tirade, followed by much mocking! Actually, I did ask a guy to come with me once, but I swear I was only joking! A bunch of us were in the old King Eddy in Calgary, and there were a lot of wild looking people there. I jokingly said I was scared and “would Gary come with me to the bathroom … I don’t want to die here!”
As I headed to the restroom and through the door to the urinal, I realized that he actually did come in with me! He must’ve done this as a joke, because he stood right behind me! Now, I don’t know how you are under pressure, but I was kind of, how shall I say this … ”frozen!”
I finally said to Gary, “you know, this place is really sketchy, and I appreciate you coming in, but standing right behind me doesn’t help matters!”
He laughed, went back into the bar, and I was left to deal with the strange looks from other patrons!
Men also rarely chat in a public restroom. There also seems to be an unwritten code that if many urinals are available, you don’t go to one right next to another guy! That is just wrong, and a bit creepy. On another night in Calgary, I happened to be next to a complete stranger, when he asked, “do you think my cigar makes me look cool?”
I had never been asked this question in a restroom before so I was a bit unsure as to a response.
“Uh yeah, it’s you … it really does make you look cool.”
He waved the big cigar toward me, and I kept thinking: “please don’t let the cigar be a metaphor, please don’t let the cigar be a metaphor!”
Anyway, he finished, tipped his business hat at a jaunty angle and sauntered toward the door. He tossed me a “Sinatra” kind of smile and tipped the hat over one eye. I thought, where do these guys come from?
Guys are never to be trusted in general, and if we can prank a buddy, well, that’s just great! I don’t think too many ladies would scrunch up a bunch of paper towels, soak them, and then toss it over the stall to soak a friend! Guys will do this! It’s what we do. Another great trick I’ve seen, is to sneak up behind a pal at a urinal, and shove him all the way into it! Yes, there’s nothing like being splashed in a urinal by a trusted friend. And FYI, don’t wear tan pants!
Years ago, on my brother’s “stag,” we basically got him as loaded as possible, in a pub crawl. Of course, with all that beer, he had to make a “pit stop” in one of the watering holes. You can imagine his drunken surprise when another “buddy” snuck up behind him at the urinal, and spun him around 180 degrees! He was no longer facing the urinal, and we had to run out in hysterics, with a string of swear words trailing us! My brother could always curse with the best of ‘em!
(“Fule for Thought” is a slice of life humourous column that appears in the Strathmore Times, written by long-time resident, town councillor, high school teacher, coach, husband and father of two – Pat Fule. If you would like to get in touch with Pat, you can send him an e-mail at Pat.fule@shaw.ca)