Drive my car
Pat Fule
Fule for Thought
Recently, I was driving in the Walmart parking lot, and a strange thing occurred to me. I don’t know if you feel the same way, but it seems like we all lose our “driving IQ” there, and strange things happen. It’s like all normal rules of driving go out the window and it becomes “survival of the fittest!”
It’s not even just the drivers, pedestrians going in or coming out of Walmart … just go. There’s no looking both ways, there’s just “go!”
People also don’t care too much about the intended “roads” in that lot, and they fly around cutting through the lot as if it was just some big track … “The Walmart 500!”
That got me thinking about driving, and things that happen behind the wheel, or even “riding shotgun”.
In 1974, my older brother was stoked to get his driver’s license, as most teenagers are. In those days, you had to get into Banff for the road test. Now in Banff, driving can get a bit crazy, as it’s a real tourist town. Gary had read his manual, passed the written, and only had his road test to finish. He was doing really well (or so he SAYS), until that fateful left turn on to Banff Avenue. Banff Avenue is the main road right through the town and has a lovely boulevard up the middle, to separate the streets. My brother, however, turned left on to Banff Avenue, but cut the turn a bit tight. Yup, you guessed it, he was now driving down the wrong side of the boulevard INTO oncoming cars! In fact, he had a long block to continue down, and the tester said calmly, “you know you’ve failed, right?”
At that moment, my brother only wanted to get off that side of the road, and not wreck my dad’s new 1974 Dodge Monaco! Of course, driving with my brother was WAY more fun after this, you know … and I reminded him of this, on any left turn!
I shouldn’t be too cocky, as I failed my first test, as well. It was a busy July day, and I was turning right onto the same stupid avenue. I did not realize that if you’ve started to turn right, and someone steps off the curb on the other side of the street, THAT would cause you to fail. It’s no wonder some people don’t like to deal with pedestrians!
In fact, you just have to look here in Strathmore. I don’t know if I’m overly sensitive, but doesn’t it seem to you, that young people feel they not only have the right to cross any road, but they dare you not to stop! Sometimes it’s a bit tempting to give them a little vehicle nudge, but I’m too old to go to Prison!
Sometimes turning onto a street can turn in to a wonderful family memory. We have friends who were driving around with their two little kids in an American city. This was before GPS or cell phones, and they turned on the road they needed. What they did NOT know, was that they had just become one of the many vehicles in a gay pride parade! They were now in the parade, and many of the side roads had been barricaded. All they could do was smile and wave, frantically looking for an escape! I wonder if their kids wondered why so many spectators were looking so stunned, as they waved BACK!
It was 1985, Deb and her mom had been commuting daily to Calgary from Canmore to complete a Summer session. Deb was finishing her B.ED. and her mom, a M.ED. Deb’s mom had just gotten a new red Mustang as a “congratulations” gift, and they were driving in Calgary. They raced to an intersection at 16 Ave. N.W. and Pat had braked. She had gotten out a bit far in the crossing, so she had to back up “a touch.”
The young person next to her smiled and revved his engine. Pat must have been feeling her oats, and she revved back! The light hit green and both cars took off … Deb and her mom, backwards! She had left it in reverse, and had to slam on the brakes! Another guy in a car yelled, “give’er Momma!”
Deb slowly slumped into the passenger seat, while her mom sheepishly giggled.
My son Brennen had a fun thing he liked to do with a pal, while driving. Sometimes when he’d see a group of girls standing on a sidewalk, or even better, a parking lot, he’d pull his car up close to the girls and on the passenger side. Then he’d put the car in park, put down the power window … hold the button down, and just sit there … waiting. Sure enough, his buddy would be mortified … embarrassed … and sit there blushing. I guess it was Brennen’s favourite driving game! Driving can definitely have its share of laughs and embarrassments!
(“Fule for Thought” is a slice of life humourous column that appears in the Strathmore Times, written by long-time resident, town councillor, high school teacher, coach, husband and father of two – Pat Fule. If you would like to get in touch with Pat, you can send him an e-mail at Pat.fule@shaw.ca)