Glad all over (thanks Dave Clark 5!)

Pat Fule
Fule for Thought

 

I’ve been trying to become a happier person lately. Those of you know me, probably think I am pretty happy. I like to socialize, I have good friendships, I love my teaching job, and being around high school students.
However, if you were to see me away from all that, or if I let my guard down, I’m not such a happy person. In fact, I have come to see myself as a performer. I teach, try to make my students have fun while they learn, and I try to be polite and fun in public as a councilor. I also find that pretty exhausting. Like some of you, when the performance at work, or in front of people is over, I “crash.”
And that usually means in front of the TV. I tell myself that it’s a good rest after a long, busy day. However, what I’m slowly starting to realize is that is basically a thief. In a book called “the 100 Simple Secrets of Happy People,” TV “robs our time, and never gives it back.”
I am now starting to believe this. I’ve caught myself watching hours of “House Hunters” waiting to see which home in Dallas the young couple will pick! I love my own house, I’m not shopping … why am I watching strangers agonize over counter tops and walk-in closets? Those hours over an evening, a week, or a month, could be better spent doing things I enjoy, or could do, to improve myself!
I don’t want to come across as lecturing you, we all have our own hobbies and ways of relaxing. I guess I’m trying to show that with my own struggles at becoming a happier person, you may see some of your own situations.
For example, I am not normally a positive person. For my students and the public, I try to show positivity at all times. Again, when the “curtain” comes down, and I’m not “performing,” I tend to be more cynical. What I need to learn, is to look at the “bright side of life.”
My whole life has been like this: if 20 good things happened in a day, and one unpleasant one, I will dwell on the bad event. If a lawyer had a success rate of 95 per cent, I’m pretty sure he/she would be thrilled. I need to find that satisfaction in things. I also tend to let things really get to me and sit with me. I envy people who are never bothered by what others say, or do, and can “move on.”
My skin is far too thin, and past hurts stay with me too long. What I need to learn (and maybe you’re like me), is that if I let people and bad experiences rent space in my head, then I have less room for the good stuff!
I (and maybe you) need to find ways to “let things go” and replace negative thoughts with positive ones. What harm can it do us, to try not to let negatives fester in our minds? It’s like that classic Monty Python movie “Life of Brian” where three men are being crucified on crosses. They break out into a song called “Always Look on the Bright Side of Life!”
A crazy example, but why couldn’t being positive help us more?
I (and maybe you, too) am not a risk taker. My parents let me quit things as a kid if I didn’t like them, or if I got spooked. Swimming lessons, skating, my mom even said I could quit University when I had hit a low point in my studies! Because of that, I fear change, and have an urge to walk away when things get really tough. I have to force myself to keep on keeping on. Luckily, when it mattered most, I was able to persevere. I got two degrees, took swimming as part of a BPE (while I was taking “Fear of Swimming” classes at night!), and won a seat in Public Office.
This may sound dumb, but what I really want is to ride a motorcycle again! I have the “green light” (sorry about the pun) from Deb, but I’m still fighting the fear of “what might happen” … what if I crash? An article I read on this mentioned FDR’s famous quote about Fear, where he suggested that the fear can become worse than the thing feared. Maybe it’s time to try and ride again?
Two things happened this week that really cheered me up. The first was quite simply learning to use a ride on mower at my son’s acreage. I was afraid to try the contraption, but once I did, it was a blast! Sure, it shook my fat a lot, and my chins slapped me silly! And yes, I may have hit the corner of the house, and nipped their satellite cord with the blade, but it was fun … and brought me laughter!
Then just now, my daughter send me an Instagram of Elvis’s face on hers, singing! That made me laugh! I’ve decided I’m going to take the advice Billy Crystal’s “wife” gave him in City Slickers when he’s backing out of his dream of a cattle drive. She tells him to “go, and find your smile again.”
That’s what I’m going to do, and I hope you are able to find yours too!

 

(“Fule for Thought” is a slice of life humourous column that appears in the Strathmore Times, written by long-time resident, town councillor, high school teacher, coach, husband and father of two – Pat Fule. If you would like to get in touch with Pat, you can send him an e-mail at Pat.fule@shaw.ca)