Enter Sandman

Pat Fule
Fule for Thought

 

Strathmore High has always tried to do things differently, and our principal has never shied away from trying new things. For a few years, we tried “Early Bird PE” for kids who had trouble fitting in PE classes into their schedules.
Early Bird PE means classes start at 7:15 in the morning, and ended around 8:30 am. Then you’d go off to your regular classes, and you could finish your day by about 2:15 p.m.
One would think that would be a pretty good gig, but I was the guy who foolishly volunteered for that class! Even though these high school kids signed up for the class, how many do you think actually liked being active by 7:20ish … not so many!
I tried all sorts of things to make it fun, and I’m not even a morning person myself! My class started in September, and by winter mornings, it was a tough “sell.”
A couple of really dark mornings, I had the “brilliant” idea to have them play “hide & seek” in the empty school. No one sane was at the school at 7:15 a.m., so the place was empty! We’d pick an “it” person, I’d go on the PA System to send off the kids to hide, and the search was on. Little did I know that one morning, two kids asked our head caretaker Tim, to let them into a classroom to hide. You guessed it … they hid in this room, shut out the lights, and went to sleep! None of us could find them … they slept, and won the stupid game!
Fast forward about 20 years and this same Tim is working his butt off for the 2016 Grad. He’s logged many overtime hours readying the school and grounds for the big celebration. In fact, one of the last mornings, he worked until about 2:30 a.m., and was to start his AM shift. A quick stop at Tim’s would help him through the morning, he thought.
So, he stopped in the Drive Thru to place his coffee order. However, on the third try, no one was taking his order, so he began to yell! The vehicles behind him were honking, and he was furious. It was then that Tim realized he was ordering through the garbage can!
After getting his order, he sheepishly pulled into the Canadian Tire lot, only to get more honks and “the finger” from another driver! It’s amazing how early morning rage can take over people!
I have my own English student who gives me nightmares. Kaleigh is one of the nicest people you could ever meet. She’s kind of like a Disney princess. She’s cheerful and sweet … all cotton candy clouds and unicorns. That is, unless you happen to meet her before 9 a.m.!
It’s a little like “Frozen” meets “The Shining” … I’ve actually heard her say: REDRUM … REDRUM! (In case you don’t know, or have forgotten, spell that backward!).
I actually worry about her parents … someone has to wake her up for school! I’m so glad I only get her at school … I mean, what’s she going to do to me in public? There are witnesses! So … I’ve come to walk softly around Kaleigh in the morning classes! I’ve actually told her that when she eventually gets engaged, I need to meet her fiancé … I mean, someone has to warn this person!
I do get it, though. no one ever wanted to wake my young son Brennen, when he fell asleep in our van. I don’t want you to phone Child Welfare, but there were times back then, we let him sleep a bit longer in the van in the garage. It’s not like he was going to freeze, the vehicle was still warm, and it was always easier to let him wake slowly! It was probably my fault. As a new dad, I did the 2 a.m. feedings with him. It was all so new, and I was an eager young dad! I’d change him, goof around with him, maybe watch a late night show. then, I could never get him back to sleep! With my daughter Breanne, it was totally different … I had learned my lesson! She got the bottle in the dark, got changed in the dark, and I never said a word to her! I was like a ninja in stealth mode. It’s funny how times change. Just a few short years ago, my kids weren’t even getting in until about the time I used to do their feedings! Maybe tonight, I’ll take a walk down “Memory lane”…I know, I’ll text them at 2 a.m.!

(“Fule for Thought” is a slice of life humourous column that appears in the Strathmore Times, written by long-time resident, town councillor, high school teacher, coach, husband and father of two – Pat Fule. If you would like to get in touch with Pat, you can send him an e-mail at Pat.fule@shaw.ca)