Out with the old …

Fule for Thought

 

I haven’t been a fan of New Year’s celebrations for a long time now. I mean, way back in high school, it was always a lot of fun, but my friends (and sometimes me) felt that was the night to really let yourself get plastered. After a while, that seemed to become the whole reason for this night. As an adult, I really liked that Deb and I had quiet New Year’s evenings. That way, I could be the “taxi driver” for my kids, in case they needed me. Yes, there’s nothing quite like picking up your very inebriated kids and pals, and then deliver safely home, while they sing, laugh, and crack really bad jokes!

My uncle was out with his extended family just before New Year’s. He was my late mother’s youngest brother, and he was always the young uncle, who really enjoyed a good party. Once, on the night of my brother’s high school graduation, my uncle partied with the grads in our backyard well into the early hours. I had to work the next day, so I avoided all of the craziness. Getting ready to leave for work early, I saw the “carnage” that was Grad. My uncle had kept the guys going almost all night! They were a mess! My brother was “out” lying part way in, and part way out of the tent. Another guy looked like he had tried to hide from my uncle under a picnic table … he had even covered the table with his sleeping bag! Yes, when my uncle decided to party, it was an event! My last friend was sleeping huddled against the side of our garage. These young men had “fought the good fight,” tried to drink with my Slovenian uncle, and had failed. My cousin told me later that my aunt didn’t talk to my uncle for two weeks after this blow-out!

So … fast forward to a few days ago, and my uncle’s now 79. After all the years, he still enjoys a good party, and he was just starting to “glow” when my aunt and cousins gave him the command that they had to leave. He didn’t want to, he was not ready to quit yet, but they were his only ride back to Calgary, so he had no choice. He tried stalling, saying long goodbyes, putting on his shoes slowly, but eventually he had to surrender. It was like watching the head of a lion pack, when the king realizes he’s no longer in charge!

I looked up some New Year’s traditions on Snopes.com to see why we do what we do, on New Year’s celebrations. Kissing at the stroke of midnight is a big one, and I’ve never liked this tradition. It might be because at one New Year’s, a neighbor of Deb’s dad greeted her with a “kiss.” Actually, it was pretty gross. He was plastered, and instead of a quick peck, he kissed her cheek, then licked it all the way up to her forehead! Deb and I were in shock, but I was able to sneakily loosen his grip on her arm and get her away. Since then, I usually try to get Deb away from everyone when the New Year hits! Yeah, there’s nothing like watching your wife get mauled by a drunk, older guy to take the fun out of a New Year’s kiss! Actually, this traditional kiss at Midnight is so that affections between the kissers will last for 12 more months. It wasn’t going to happen with Old Casanova, not on my watch!

I also didn’t know the reason for all the noise makers, loud noise, and general chaos at the striking of 12. In olden times, the people felt that Evil Spirits and the devil hated loud noises, so they made as much noise as possible, to drive and keep them away. In my house back in our olden days, my Hungarian dad must’ve also believed this. For many New Year’s my inebriated dad would find his old WWII rifle, and fire off a few rounds into to the freezing dark night! I guess times were more simple then … I’m not sure that would happen today! My mom would, like my aunt, also give Dad the silent treatment for his gunnery practice! Huh, New Year’s Day always did seem very quiet at our house!

Another tradition I didn’t know about, was the opening of doors at the crack of 12. This is supposed to be done to let the Old Year out, before the New Year can come in. It was also one of the things we did growing up, but I always thought it was for Dad to get his shots off quicker, and not blast out our door! I found an interesting quote from John Wayne that also ties into a New Year and a new start. It goes “ … tomorrow is the most important thing. It comes to us at midnight very clean. It’s perfect when it arrives and it puts itself in our hands. It hopes we’ve learned something from yesterday.” 

I hope you all have many, many happy tomorrows, and that no one gropes your loved one, but you!

 

(“Fule for Thought” is a slice of life humourous column that appears in the Strathmore Times, written by long-time resident, town councillor, high school teacher, coach, husband and father of two – Pat Fule. If you would like to get in touch with Pat, you can send him an e-mail at Pat.fule@shaw.ca)