What’s in a name?
Pat Fule
Fule for Thought
Names are very important to people. Over the years, I’ve known people who agonize over picking just the “right” baby name for their new arrival. Sometimes these names must be kept secret, although I never really “got” why that was. I guess people might be worried that they have the best name EVER, and don’t want the neighbour’s kid to also have it! Right now, I am teaching Shakespeare’s “Romeo and Juliet” to my Grade 10’s. You remember how you were thrilled at studying the rich description of his words, the magic of his action, and the use of literary devices? Okay, well, maybe you’re more like my Grade 10’s than we thought … they’re not exactly thrilled either. I tell them that Shakespeare is like bad tasting medicine that can be good for them, but they don’t often buy that!
Anyway, in this play Juliet is thinking of her newly found love, Romeo. They come from warring families, and their last names are a constant reminder of this bitterness. She actually thinks out loud about names, and questions why names have to be important.
She says, “What’s in a name? That which we call a rose By any other name would smell as sweet; So Romeo would, were he not Romeo called.”
Well, I’ll tell ya what’s in a name, Will! Until you’ve been given a crappy name (or names) … you shouldn’t be ABLE to say “what’s in name!”
I believe I got ripped off in the name department. My parents told me (years later) that they never even HAD a name for me!! Oh no, I wasn’t like the little kids whose parents tried so hard to get JUST the right name for their new bundle. Oh no, they had “nada” for me. In fact, I think a couple of days went by before they named me. Did they pick a name suitable for a young man, something other kids would say, “huh…cool name?”
No, their strategy was more simple … they asked the doctor’s name who delivered me! Luckily, the doctor’s name was not Sheila, for all the effort that went in to THAT choice! They also decided to bring in our European culture to my naming. Now to me, that can often be the “kiss of death” for coolness. So I got the Irish name of Patrick, even though I was a mix of Hungarian and Slovenian! The MIDDLE name is my nightmare. Sure, it comes from an uncle I never met, and was probably to honour him, but I’ll bet back in Europe, he never got TEASED in some horrible, crappy chant! This name will stay with me … I can’t trust even my 46 readers with it, as I could be betrayed. My own kids know it, and I always had to race to my classroom, as they often wrote it on my board! Sometimes I’d miss it, and other students would ask, “what the heck is _ _ _ _ _ _ ?”
I do try to keep it as secure as possible, but I’ve learned Facebook can be deadly!
My first name has been difficult too. I am not very formal or fancy, and have gone by Pat for years. This has led to confusion. In letters, resumes, e-mails, people often think I’m a woman! My first teaching interview “hit me between the eyes” with this problem. I made the short list of three people being interviewed for a PE teaching job in Fort Macleod. It sounded great, but here’s where I should have caught on (curse that PE Degree! ). The job was for all girls’ high school PE!! How could I possibly teach that, why would they want me? As we went in for the interview, it became crystal clear. No one had read my application OR resume carefully! In fact, a couple even looked stunned. THEY thought that because my name was mentioned as Pat, that I was a woman! They interviewed us, then left us waiting in the hallway. I listened through the door at the confused discussion, wondering what was next. Sure enough, they called us in one at a time, in order of being rejected. The first girl came out crying, then I was called. I congratulated the last one, and faced the music … no all girls’ PE for me!
So we were a little more careful on naming our kids. Deb decided their names would share letters which would make them closer. We also talked about alternatives. I may have said this before, but I AM getting older. We thought Brennen’s name should be Jett, then his name would be Jett Fule! Breanne could’ve been April, April Fule! We even kicked around Diesel for Brennen and Morgan Taylor for Breanne … then her first initials would read M.T. Fule … you know “Empty Fule”!! LOL!
So, for those of you who also aren’t thrilled with your names, I feel your pain. We do have options … if you have a better middle name, you could switch to that one. Maybe you could like “The Artist Formerly Known As Prince”, change your name to a symbol!
To those of you who are about to name your first baby … choose wisely … it will be your kid who has to live with it! I also had to discover all the words that rhymed with Pat, and based on my recent doctor visit, THAT one hurts the most!
(“Fule for Thought” is a slice of life humourous column that appears in the Strathmore Times, written by long-time resident, town councillor, high school teacher, coach, husband and father of two – Pat Fule. If you would like to get in touch with Pat, you can send him an e-mail at Pat.fule@shaw.ca)