Today’s students and a little revenge!

Fule for Thought

 

People often ask me what today’s students are like. Well, for starters, they HAVE to have music … an iPod is a must. It’s like they have to have some kind of soundtrack to their daily lives. During a typical reading session in English, you’ll see many heads with “ear buds” in, so they can better “read.” Even that is often not enough, as they often have to scroll through a lot of songs just to get the “one” song they really want … one that WILL help them enjoy their reading better! They really can’t function without music pounding in their ears!

The problem with these devices, is that to me, they all look alike. An iPod looks like an iPhone, etc. So, you have to continually check while they’re “reading” to make sure they’re not watching a movie, or the latest episode of “Breaking Bad!”

You may think they’re “into” your lesson on “irony,” yet ironically they’re playing a video game on their iPod or phone! Times have changed!  

As soon as a class bell rings, like the “old days,” the students race out quickly. The difference nowadays, is their cell phones are being frantically scanned for messages! 

They must have incredibly important social lives, as it’s ESSENTIAL for them to check their texts RIGHT away! I mean, it’s not like they’re leaders of countries where missile strikes could be launched at any minute … yet they MUST check those texts. Of course, we’ve all heard stories of teens texting each other while they sit next to each other on a car ride! We CAN’T have the parents know what we’re talking about! They’ll even call or text each other at noon in the halls, so that they can meet for lunch … or catch up on the latest gossip.

Fashions have definitely changed! Luckily, less and less guys are wearing those horrible stick-like jeans that go half way down their butts. You’ve seen these guys … they can’t even walk properly, or the pants will fall. By the way, they’re NEVER embarrassed if ALL their boxers show! That would have been mortifying in days gone by, if YOUR underwear showed! You’d be mocked, you’d become a social pariah! Not THIS generation, they’re fine with it. For a while, girls’ volleyball teams would merely step to the side of bleachers, and change their practice tops to their uniforms! Speaking of sports, kids even want to listen to their iPods when they take part in PE classes! Just imagine your old PE teacher’s reaction to that! Of course, back then, we’d be lugging around some huge stereo, if we wanted to play music during PE! It’d be tough to move quickly in Dodgeball carrying an old “ghetto blaster!”

Teens are not hesitant to ask teachers if they can borrow money, either! Can you imagine, years ago, asking your PE or Math teacher, if you could borrow a few bucks? It was unheard of, yet this is NOT a rare event anymore! I’m still shocked when it happens, though. I always ask: “are you serious … you want to borrow money from a teacher … what about, oh I don’t know … one of your PALS?!!!”

At times, the frustration of teaching takes its toll, and you need to strike back. Sometimes, to brighten my day, as students hand in their tests, I’ll ask, “are you dumb?” 

Now, maybe because of their years on the iPods, they can’t HEAR me asking if they’re DONE … but it doesn’t take much to amuse me anymore! One April Fool morning, I decided to prank a “jock” at our school. He was a pretty cocky guy trying out for a high level team. I left a note at the office that a “Myra Maines” had called from Calgary, concerning “team cuts.”  

He was called to the office for this phone message. He called right away, and got through to a funeral home, asking to speak to Myra Maines … “My Remains!”

I must admit, it DID feel good when I asked him what was his phone message about!!

In Social Studies, our students are expected to read/watch “current events” on the news and orally report on them to the class. One Spring, a student hadn’t done any preparation, and asked me for some current events! Now this was not a good decision, because I felt he should have done his homework. So, I loaded him up with the most inaccurate news events I could! I told him that Canada just won Gold in Mens’ Curling, even though the World Championships happened months before, and we HADN’T won. I told him we were immediately tripling the number of soldiers going to Afghanistan, Israel had just launched missiles at Egypt, and that the Flames were leaving Calgary!

Then, I filled in his Social teacher, and he told me when to stand at his open classroom door! It was priceless as he read out the “news” of the week! The class went deathly quiet, then roared in laughter, asking where he got his information! I thought it was a good lesson for him, and don’t worry, his teacher let him go again. I mean, that’s what we do in school nowadays, let kids have “do-overs’ until they get things eventually correct!!

I’d like to state that NO High School students were hurt in the events described … we would NEVER want to damage their little Self Esteems!!

(“Fule for Thought” is a slice of life humourous column that appears in the Strathmore Times, written by long-time resident, town councillor, high school teacher, coach, husband and father of two – Pat Fule. If you would like to get in touch with Pat, you can send him an e-mail at Pat.fule@shaw.ca)