Road trips and motel mistakes

Fule for Thought

 

As teachers, extra-curriculars (e.g. coaching) are duties we take on without pay. We are not paid to coach basketball, for example, and it is a sport that runs from November to March. However, we are given a food allowance for the weekend, and our rooms are paid. It is these road trips where some of my funniest and scariest events have happened.

One such trip was a Cross-Country Provincial meet at a place called Vilna. All I remember, is that it was North of Edmonton (I think we were still in Alberta).  

We were driving in the black of an October night in my mini-van, and my young daughter had come along (I don’t think her young brain realized just how long this was going to take)!

Anyway, I had one of the girls’ moms riding “shotgun,” as none of these high school students wanted to be anywhere near their teacher! It was just as well, because as we drove along, we ended up behind a large semi-trailer truck carrying large evergreens with burlap wrapped bottoms. 

I can’t explain, but I got a weird feeling just before one of the evergreens fell off right in front of us! I had enough time to quickly swerve into the left lane, and back again!  Thank God, there was no oncoming vehicle, as we were on a single-lane road! None of the kids knew how close we were to a terrible crash, and both the mom and I were shaken … we kept on talking about how close we were to a wreck!!  

I couldn’t help think of all the teacher-coaches I knew, and how many of them had close calls driving parents’ kids to sport events. It shook me up, but luckily we were close to our motel.

A few years later, I had a strange and funny event on another Cross-Country running trip to Provincials. This time, it was on a beautifully warm October weekend south, in Foremost. When the meet was done, we ready to head home. One of the guys said that “Kim” had never, ever been into the States, and could we detour there? I discovered there was NO border crossing at Foremost, but we were done early enough that we’d try, for her. It’s a LONG way to the Coutts crossing when you’re in Foremost, but we drove on anyway.

When we arrived at the crossing, I pulled my van up to the U.S. Officers’ window. I waved to her …she waved back with a smile. Minutes passed …I waved to her, she waved back. She never said ANYTHING, and more minutes passed. By now, she was typing and looked at me, and smiled. Had I screwed up? What was the deal with this lady?  

Finally, the mom next to me said, “maybe we don’t stop going over, maybe we stop coming BACK?”  

That seemed logical, and this U.S. Border lady wasn’t much help! So, I pulled the van ahead, only to be met with a flashing red light, a siren, and a U.S. Border Guard coming at us with his hand on his revolver! Even an old lady behind me, was pointing her finger at us! The officer was not happy, and asked what we thought we were doing!? After, I explained, he loosened up a bit, but asked us what our business was in the U.S. and how long we’d be there? 

I told him we’d be there about 10 minutes, to take a group picture, as one of the kids had never been there. NOW, he looked at me as if I was from another planet! I also told him that “you can’t get Cherry Coke in Canada, so that’s also what we want!”  

Again with the strange look! Anyway, after our 10 minute visit following the two hour detour, we headed for home. The kids razzed me all the way to Strathmore, and I didn’t take high school students back to the U.S. until our basketball trip years later.

My last story involves an old friend of mine. He and his wife were staying in Calgary for a wedding. They had decided to stay overnight in the motel where the wedding was, just to be on the safe side. After a long night, they eventually made it back to their room. In the wee hours of the morning, my friend got up to go to the bathroom. Now, I don’t know WHY he was naked, and I don’t WANT to, either!! Suffice to say, he opened the door, and went OUT the room by mistake! The door closed behind him, and there he was, NAKED and in the hall with their door closed!! In a panic, he knocked repeatedly on the door, but his wife ( who had bad allergies) had taken some pills that REALLY put her out. 

He was trapped … he ran to the hall window. There just below, he could see his van, but obviously he had no keys! What to do, what to do? He hid behind a large, potted plant. Now, HE says the leaves were huge …but I’m not sure they actually WERE! There he stayed for a few more minutes, until he ran back to their door. His only option was to knock again … and louder …he had to get back in, and fast!

Finally, after what must have seemed like hours, his wife woke to the knocks, and looked out the peek hole, to see her naked husband! She let him in, asking WHY he would do that!! He’s much more careful on motel trips now, and he always makes sure there are big plants in their hallway, just in case!

 

(“Fule for Thought” is a slice of life humourous column that will appear in the Strathmore Times, written by long-time resident, town councillor, high school teacher, coach, husband and father of two – Pat Fule. If you would like to get in touch with Pat, you can send him an e-mail at Pat.fule@shaw.ca)