The days of my life in teaching II (the sequel)

Fule for Thought

 

Awhile back, I told you all some of the lighter things I’ve experienced as a PE/English teacher. You might think there wouldn’t be too many weird and wacky moments, but oh yeah, there are more. Sometimes, when I least expected it, high school students would shock and surprise me. You really do have to be prepared (if that’s possible) for anything.

My first such experience was on a basketball trip to Rimbey. Samuel Crowther High School had rented a 15 passenger van for the trip. The weather was clear and visibility was great. That excellent visibility was to become a huge part of this event. As we rolled up what is now the Queen Elizabeth highway, a strange thing kept happening.  

Every time a vehicle pulled alongside, it would stay even with us, then slowly pass. As each vehicle accelerated, it would again pause along me, and the occupants would be laughing and smiling at me.

This happened a few times before I realized something was going on in MY van! I felt like Columbo … I had to find out the mystery. The guys behind me were hard to see and obviously no one was volunteering any information. I tilted my inside mirror and leaned right to see just what was happening. To my horror, I saw that one of my players had been holding up a certain Mens’ magazine to the side windows so that any vehicle passing could see the centerfold in all her “glory!”  

Oh, but that was just part of the problem … the centerfold lady just happened to weigh about 500 pounds!! That was what had been so entertaining to the people passing! I quickly yelled to put the magazine away, or I would show these players’ mothers and grandmothers what they had been doing. I think the mention of grandmothers was what REALLY got their entertainment to instantly end. I pulled over, confiscated the magazine, and had the “culprits” throw it in a highway garbage can. I think that was where I first realized high school guys were not to be trusted!

Many years later, we moved to a new school and became Strathmore High. On one morning in a PE 10 class, another strange event happened. When my students subbed out of a game, they would go up to the gallery area, to wait until it was their turn to play again. You’d think that would be a safe place, but oh no, one girl decided to experiment. Her experiment was to see if she could push her head through the bars of the gallery railing! From the floor below, as I refereed the game, everything looked normal, that is until a student ran down laughing, to get me!

I ran up and was horrified to see that the student’s head had perfectly fit between the bars! Pulling it back OUT was the problem. Many of us pitched in, while I kept asking her “”WHY?”  

We pulled sideways on the bars as hard as possible, while some students wet her hair and ears. We even had to push on her ears so they’d be as snug to her head as possible. It probably took only seconds, but to the victim and me, it must have felt like hours. Finally, we were able to get her head back through. I run into her now and then … she’s an adult now, and when we meet, we still have a little chuckle!

Again, many years later another incident happened with one of my male students. I was coaching the track events for the school and it was a very wet, rainy day. I had purchased small parachutes with straps, so the runners could run, the parachutes would billow out, and they’d be sprinting against a strong resistance. We had move into the gym, and the sprinters had specific instructions on using the chutes.

One of the other students happened to be weight training in the gym’s weight room. He asked if he could try out a chute. I foolishly agreed and we strapped him in. I told him, “be sure you only sprint on the LENGTH of the gym and slow down on the corners.”  

He agreed, and off he sprinted. Oh sure, he obeyed on the first corner, but he was having “too much fun!” 

He sprinted around the corners, and I began to worry. Sure enough on his third corner, the billowing chute caught the bottom of a basketball backboard. Instantly, he was snapped horizontally and slammed to the floor!! We ran across the gym to find him winded, and trying to laugh! He was okay, maybe a bit sheepish, and we were able to laugh again. I learned that parachuting indoors could be dangerous!

I obviously discovered that high school students can always be counted on to surprise me. Just when you might think everything is safe, they can find a way to shake up things. I usually tell my students that they’re the reason my hair has gone so gray! Sadly, they seem to be proud that they may have had a hand in this!

 

(“Fule for Thought” is a slice of life humourous column that will appear in the Strathmore Times, written by long-time resident, town councillor, high school teacher, coach, husband and father of two – Pat Fule. If you would like to get in touch with Pat, you can send him an e-mail at Pat.fule@shaw.ca)