Words

By Pat Fule Random Thoughts

If I was one of my neighbours, I’d have gathered the whole family around the front room window Sunday night, because Pat Fule brought the ladder out to his driveway!
Yup, Deb had requested (ordered) that I take down the security camera so she could charge it. If they read the last column, this could have been great Sunday evening entertainment. I wasn’t scared to climb again, but I did actually have some words with the ladder before I stepped on.
“Look ladder,” I said (I’m on a first name basis with ladder cuz he and his pals have been jerks to me … a lot!), “I’m about to climb you, and you guys have had your fun. Just let me get up and down with no crash on the cement and I’ll store you back in the garage, out of the rain.”
It must’ve worked, because I made it with no falls. I was pretty sure I heard a disappointed sigh from somewhere (I guess the neighbours might’ve been a little disappointed!). I get it though … it’d be like buying tickets to Evel Knievel and then there’s no spectacular crash.
I got to thinking about the words I used on ladder and how for once it worked, and I didn’t get chucked to the cement driveway. The words we use are very important in communicating our meaning. Anyone who knows me knows I love all kinds of music, but I’m a big ’50s to ’80s guy and I love lyrics that are poetic or have deep meaning. Take that famous ’60s song and its deep lines of: “Who put the bomp in the bomp bah bomp bah bomp, who put the ram in the rama lama ding dong?”
I mean, even though this song was written in 1961, its lyrics still have relevance in today’s hyper busy world of 2019. Who hasn’t tried to figure out the answer to that song’s question? Those are the types of lyrics that made girls fall for boys! How do I know? Because the song even says: “they made my baby fall in love with me!” It’s gotta be right!
I’ve always had trouble with two songs of my generation. The first is Stairway to Heaven.
For the longest time (maybe up to last year, but I can neither confirm or deny this), I thought that famous line where the song is building in deep and great power, that the lyrics were: “And there’s a wino down the road …”. In actual fact, the lyrics are “And as we wind on down the road …”. I can’t recall how many times I may have belted out the wrong line at various parties, but I hope no one was able to remember – it was the ’70s after all!
The other song is one written by Bruce Springsteen but was a hit for Manfred Mann, called Blinded by the Light. Believe it or not, this song was one of the warm up songs for my high school basketball team!
I always thought this song was one where I could be a bit of a rebel. If you know the song, there’s a part right after the line: “blinded by the light” that goes: “revved up like a deuce, another rover in the night.”
For years, I thought the word “deuce” was something very different that rhymed, but was not a deuce (again, I can neither confirm or deny what I really thought was the word, but it sure wasn’t deuce!).
As a long-time high school PE teacher (and English, I might add! Did happen to get called a “dumb jock” at times), I liked to bring humour to my classes. Sometimes it was the words I used to give the team names in our class games. There’s nothing like having three floor hockey teams named Inmates, Guards and Patients.
I felt it sometimes captured the true character of my students. When it was flu season and a lot of kids were away, I went with a medical theme. Here one team might be the Scabs another the Infection, but my favourite was Weeping Sores!
For some reason, no one wanted to be on Team 3?! Hmm… another time, I named a team the Strathmore Meatpackers.
Then I did mini commercials during substitutions: “… can’t find Rover, we know where he is … Strathmore Meatpackers!
From 1986 to 1990, my in-laws, some friends and Deb and I owned the Rose & Crown Pub in Canmore. I’ve always felt that Strathmore could really use a true Commonwealth-style pub, and I’m prepared to let you use a word that I always thought would be great for a pub. Are you ready? “Werk” (intentionally spelled wrong, to attract interest). Just think… you want to go out with your pals but aren’t sure your wife will approve. You merely say the pub’s name in a sentence to her: “Honey, I’ll be at Werk with Joe Rockhead tonight … I’ll probably have to stay at Werk ‘til 11. The boss will probably be at Werk, too.” Or, let’s say it’s your day off, you merely insert the words: “Honey, I actually do have to go to Werk again today, in fact, my whole crew has to go to Werk.”
Genius, eh? It’ll work (correct spelling) for a while, but the wives will always wonder if their husbands are at work, or at Werk! In case, you’re going to use this word as Strathmore’s newest pub… you’re welcome!
(Random Thoughts is a slice of life humorous column that appears in the Strathmore Times, written by long-time resident, current mayor, husband, father and grandfather – Pat Fule. He is also a former town councillor, high school teacher and coach. If you would like to get in touch with Pat, you can send him an e-mail at Pat.fule@shaw.ca).