But … the Pat came back

By Pat Fule Random Thoughts

“… Pleased to meet you, hope you guess my name …” are lyrics from an old Rolling Stones song. Basically, I’m letting you know that I am indeed … back! Believe it or not … I have been asked what happened to my old column, and why did I stop? For a while, I felt that as mayor, people wouldn’t like it if I wrote a humour column.
However, I’ve come to believe that if I can add a bit of lightness to peoples days, and they can accept that their mayor can have a sense of humour … maybe that’s not so bad. I hope (if you’re still reading!) that you will understand that I will work hard for residents and be serious, but that I can also see the lighter side in everyday life. That, my 17 returning readers … is my hope for this regular column! I will avoid controversy, and focus on the good, the funny and the odd! So … buckle up, cuz here we go!
By the time you read this, Mother’s Day will be over. Hopefully, everyone remembered their moms, because they should be given a lot of credit for what they’ve been through. In fact, labour itself is enough to warrant a massive gift! I haven’t given birth, but I’ve been at two, and if men had to go through that, there’d be much smaller families. Not that we men don’t suffer in our own way during labour! You know, I made the mistake of wearing my wedding ring that day, and when my wife squeezed my hand during a contraction … it really hurt. Luckily her contraction ended, and I could take off that ring! Phew!
Deb and I were recently shopping at Aspen Crossing. You can rent an escape room there and I suggested this for my mother-in-law. However, I told the cashier, “this may not be good, my mother-in-law wouldn’t be able to solve the clues and get out! But wait, that’s not such a bad …” She replied, “careful now, that sounds dangerous for you!” She’s right … I haven’t had enough time enjoying my seniors’ discounts at places yet!
My mom was a little bit of a thing … maybe five feet tall, but she could be tough when she needed to be. She was very kind and could always get information out of me! Maybe it was because I was raised Catholic, but I always wound up “spilling my guts” one way or another to her! She was from the former Yugoslavia and immigrated here after WW2. She and my dad had some challenges learning the English language, and they had pronounced accents. She often came across as innocent because the Canadian culture was not hers; our “ways” were so different. We had “the burning barrel” in the back yard where every Friday, either my brother or I got to burn the week’s garbage! Good times … inhaling all that flammable stuff! One day as a high school kid, I came home to a very proud momma. She explained that she had made sure our barbecue would never get stolen. I went back outside to check on her handy work. There on our back deck was the family barbecue tied with shoelaces to our deck railing!
“Uh mom …,” I said. “I think bad guys can just cut the laces with one of their big knives.”
At first, she had a deflated look, but then came the sheepish smile. I teased, “that’s okay mom, the laces would slow them down a second or two!”
I believe she might’ve sworn at me in Slovenian as she swatted my butt with a broom!
One of our high school dances that year was also a fundraiser and parents had been invited. One of the moms asked if I was going to dance with my mother. I had replied (in typical cool high school way) that my mom was “too short!”
I thought I had cracked a good joke, but when I got home after the dance, I found my mom crying… I had hurt her feelings. It took a long time for me to make amends, mainly because high school boys can be pretty dense, and think that teasing more is another way to apologize!
About seven years later my mom would die of bone cancer. She did get to see me become a teacher and had been too sick to attend our wedding, but she sure loved Debbie. We took a TV/VCR to her hospital room, so she could see the recorded ceremony, and she died about six weeks after our wedding day. I remember driving away from the cemetery and looking back to see her lonely coffin at the site, waiting to be later lowered. I thought back to that dance night in high school, when I’d hurt her feelings and once again … I was filled with regret. Even now, 34 years later, I think back to that high school dance and eventually losing her to cancer. I’d sure dance with you now, mom … if I could …
(Random Thoughts is a slice of life humorous column that appears in the Strathmore Times, written by long-time resident, current mayor, husband, father and grandfather – Pat Fule. He is also a former town councillor, high school teacher and coach. If you would like to get in touch with Pat, you can send him an e-mail at Pat.fule@shaw.ca)