The Winnie the Pooh walk

Pat Fule
Fule for Thought

 

A lot of things come to your mind when you’re stuck in a fence. Let me back track a little. With October’s warm weather, I hit our pathways more than ever before, and even Doc was happy with my weight and blood pressure!
However, I decided to cut through a Strathaven green space to check it out for a possible new one. That’s when I had my own “Winnie the Pooh in the honey jar” moment! You see, sometimes the 55-year-old Pat still sees himself as the 35-year-old Pat. I saw a narrow opening where one fence ended at another, so I was sure with my latest weight loss successes, that I could fit. I could not!
As I tried to push my girth through, I did indeed get stuck! Not stuck as in call the fire department for the “jaws of life,” but stuck enough that there was some pain involved pushing myself back out! There’s nothing you can do but laugh in this situation, because you know there are people in their front rooms laughing at you, too! For a second or two, I wished I had some butter … but no, then I’d probably have eaten it!
That brings me back to the various things that flashed through my mind while I was stuck. The first was, that I’m one of those people who hate the labels on the back of new shirts! I can’t stand anything rubbing on the back of my net … I could feel the red rash forming right then! In fact, I will either tear out the label, or wash the shirt a few times before I wear it, to soften that stupid label. Sometimes I’ve had a really nice shirt with a small hole right in the back of the collar … now that doesn’t look dorky, does it? However, at least there’s nothing scratching the crap out of my neck!
If you’re a 60s or 70s kid, and had working parents, you were probably a “latch key kid.” That’s a working class kid who had his own house key to get in after school. My key was attached to a shoe lace, which was then tied to one of the belt loops on my 70s corduroy pants! Yep, the key stayed safe, I had something to fiddle with when I got bored … heck, it was even an attached weapon to use on my brother, if I needed it! No matter when I got home, I was safe from “bad guys” … I could get into my own “Fortress of Solitude” like Superman, and read some of my comics!
I also thought for a second of my strange lot in life. My parents worked hard to help me get educated, and I was able to get two University degrees. Sure, one was a PE degree, but still … two degrees, and lately I’ve had to wipe my 15 year old dog’s butt pretty regularly! Yep, there’s nothing like being your dog’s personal valet and care giver, to give you a dose of humility! Of course, he hates this, and I have to chase him with a fresh wet wipe … that must look strange to the neighbors, too! It’s funny how many thoughts can fly through your mind when you’re chunky and stuck in a fence.
The last thing that hit me before I popped out of the trap, was watching my son curl the other night. Now you know, I’m no curling expert, but my son was cleaning a rock at the end of an end! I thought, when did he become a skip, I thought he played second? Yet here he was, cleaning the rock, setting it up, clearing in front of the hack. Then I saw it. He had done all this for his skip! What a guy, he was the skip’s butler! It must be so cool to be a skip on a young team, and have a butler! So, with that, I freed myself and began to ramble along on my walk. I was sure I saw a curtain move in the large picture window of a house. Maybe it was Boo Radley I thought (To Kill a Mockingbird), but no, with my luck it was probably my Associate Principal, and I’d hear it at the high school for the next year!
(“Fule for Thought” is a slice of life humourous column that appears in the Strathmore Times, written by long-time resident, town councillor, high school teacher, coach, husband and father of two – Pat Fule. If you would like to get in touch with Pat, you can send him an e-mail at Pat.fule@shaw.ca)