Mustang Sally

Pat Fule

Fule for Thought

 

A big shout out to Molly, who’s s been one of my faithful readers over the last few years! I mean, it’s not like anyone’s tracking the readership or anything, for all I know there are only 11 of you! Anyway, thanks to all of you for your kind words, and Molly, I promise no more Coronation Street bashing! Like many of you, I’ve always been a “car guy.” I especially love classic cars made by the Big 3: Ford, GM, and Chrysler. This is ironic, because I know nothing about engines, transmissions, or anything to do with suspension, or brakes! I can gas up, fill my tires, and maybe check the oil. I was going to include boosting a car battery, but I have blown a hole in the top of one years ago, so I’m not sure I’d count that as a skill. When I was about 14, my old Hungarian uncle (the moonshiner) gave my brother and me a 1950 Bel Air coupe. Sadly, the engine was thrashed, we had no money or engine “know how,” so the beast sat for about a year (no By-Law officers then!), and it eventually got towed away! Fast forward to Grade 12, and I had bought the car of my dreams … a 1971 Fastback. These cars had gotten bigger, had a very flat back window, and a lot of power for a 17 year old kid. I never got any tickets or in any accidents, but the weirdest one did happen to it in my first year of university. One morning, a guy knocked on our apartment door to tell me he’d been in an accident with my Mustang. Now I was sleepy, but I thought this was impossible! You see, we were both parked nose to nose with a cement block between us. How in the world did he hit my car? He called me down, and there in the basement parkade, was the strangest accident scene I’d ever seen. His big panel van was sitting on the crumpled hood of my dream car! All I could muster was a “how did this happen, I don’t get it?” He went on to tell me that he was parked on his block heater extension cord and slipped it in “drive” instead of “reverse.” Somehow, it zipped over the cement block, coming to a peaceful rest on the hood of my car! Needless to say, his insurance company paid for everything, but I would have loved to have heard that conversation! The guy eventually moved on to jewelry sales, and if you remember my dumb “engagement ring story”… he was the guy who sold me Deb’s ring, or rather he sold it to Debbie, and I was put on her monthly payment plan! Now, I had been enjoying my Silver 1994 Mustang, for the past five years. I had dropped that on Deb after I bought her a replacement 25th Anniversary silver ring (to “bury” the bad memory ring!) However, this latest fall I decided to be practical and sell it. Practical, Shmactical … I had seller’s remorse, as soon as it was gone! It didn’t help that the buyer e-mailed me a month later to tell me it was “mint” … they’d had it up on a lift, and there was no rust anywhere! Grrrrr … so, I decided you only go around once, and I should look for another Mustang. Imagine my surprise when after a few weeks of Kijiji shopping, there on a Saturday night, was MY 1994 mustang! I got Brennen to play “spy” using his girlfriend’s e-mail address to ask questions. The guy replied immediately, praising the car, and then to my pain, he said, “I bought it from an old teacher in Strathmore!” I mean, I get selling it, but really, ya gotta insult me first? So, believe it or not, I bought back my Mustang! This was another surprise for Deb, as all she had told me to do, was ask questions, see if it was my car. Oh it was, and it became it, again! Surprise, Deb! She did ask me if I was nuts, and “who in the world does these things … buy back stuff you’ve sold?” Of course, the answer is me! I paid more money, but he did put on new tires and rims, tinted the glass, detailed the engine, and even had it waxed and polished. It sounds good, doesn’t it? Well, I’m not so sure. Deb has informed me that if I like the car so much, maybe I should sleep in it, in the garage! She can’t be too mad, can she? I mean she did seem worried about the cold garage … she told me to run the engine for awhile. She probably wants to make sure I’m comfortable. I mean the lights are now off, and the big garage door’s closed … (“Fule for Thought” is a slice of life humourous column that appears in the Strathmore Times, written by long-time resident, town councillor, high school teacher, coach, husband and father of two – Pat Fule. If you would like to get in touch with Pat, you can send him an e-mail at Pat.fule@shaw.ca)