The dog years: just fur Brodie

Fule for Thought

 

My wife, Debbie thinks I have a very strange mind. She’s probably right. Things come to me, that probably wouldn’t to any “normal” person. 

For example, I’ve been kind of creeped out by the “Laughing Cow” cheese commercial. I’m not sure if you’ve seen this commercial, but these cute, cartoonish cows are hanging out eating cheese. Now to me, this is bizarre and creepy, because cheese comes from cows, so these animals are eating themselves! 

It’s gross … why would that make me want to buy their cheese and join them in a gross, disgusting picnic where they eat their own by-product? I know, I know, this is why Deb says, “just once I’d like to get in your head and see what’s it’s like in there!” I’m not sure she could take that vast emptiness broken by the odd, bizarre thought that pops in and out!

Really though, I’ve been thinking a lot about our family dog, Brodie. He’s a 14.5-year-old Bichon Frise, and he’s slowly showing his decreasing energy. Of course, this last part is hard to measure, as he’s never really, ever had any energy! He’s always been the type of dog, who only wants to play for a short period of time, and then basically quit. It’s like, “whoa kids, let me pace myself … I chased that ball three times, that’s gotta be enough!”

Then he ambles off to a quiet place that’s still close to all of us and basically goes to sleep. It’s like he’s always practiced being an old dog, so he could get it “just right!” 

He’s actually only ever really active just after he’s crapped! It’s weird, but when he returns from outside, we can all tell what he’s done, because he’ll come running in like a puppy, hit the hardwood floor, slide a little, and act like it’s the best day of his life! It’s kind of gross knowing what your dog has just done, but it does help me know when the yard needs to be scooped!

I had the embarrassment of taking him on a walk to a new place. We hit the lake at Strathmore Lakes, and he was like a pup again … well, a slow pup, but a pup. He was a brown and white “flash” running here and there, sniffing and peeing everywhere. It was a little gross as I watched in horror as he had to poop, but was too excited to actually stop and do it! Do you know how stupid I felt in front of the walkers and joggers, picking up his poop as he walked? 

“You could have at least stopped somewhere, but no, I have to be your butler!” 

I also don’t get why dogs have to smell their poo right after they do it! I mean come on, you’re a smart dog, what do you think was going to be behind you … freshly baked cinnamon cookies?! It’s very embarrassing! I also wonder why he has to poop at the start of a walk … we’re nowhere near a garbage can, so I get to carry a bag of warm, aromatic poo for most of the walk!

He’s a great actor, our dog. My daughter Bree taught him a “dead dog” trick and I must say, he does an elaborate death scene. He falls slowly (remember, nothing is fast with this dog!) onto his side, and lays as still as he can, “dead.” 

Oh sure, his tail still thumps the floor, but he’s a regular Jack Nicholson! Then when he’s told he’s a good boy, he pops up for his Oscar (dog treat)! You’d think that he’s a bright dog, and he has shown that. He learned as a puppy to bat a wind chime on the door going outside, and he’d get let out. He trained us! He rang that bell every time he felt like he needed a “bit of fresh air!” 

Lately, though this furry Einstein is not showing his smarts. We are in a new house that has a “butler’s pantry” where it has a door at each end. Brodie will go in the hallway door, come to the kitchen door and scratch, looking out. I don’t get why he thinks he’s trapped, and he gets a bit frustrated, scratching to be let out! Why not just turn around, and go back out the way you came?!

Oh well, this old brown and white fur ball has been nothing but a happy, affectionate dog. Tomorrow will be lawn cutting day, and he’s figured out that’s a great day for him! 

He gets to come to the Recycle Yard, and then we’re off for a cheeseburger! He knows the turns, and he’s always leaning up on the dash, tracking the trip. It’ll always be one of the things I’ll remember the most about Brodie … finding joy in something as simple as a cheeseburger trip!

(“Fule for Thought” is a slice of life humourous column that appears in the Strathmore Times, written by long-time resident, town councillor, high school teacher, coach, husband and father of two – Pat Fule. If you would like to get in touch with Pat, you can send him an e-mail at Pat.fule@shaw.ca)