Field of nightmares

Fule for Thought

 

So last week, I wrote about my slo-pitch team and how we made it to the Championship game of whatever division we’re in. 

It’s kind of weird, because we really don’t know what level the teams are, until we face them. Or, as in our case, when we get crushed by them. Yes, sports fans, our “Cinderella team” went to the ball, but the ball was not kind to us! In fact, it was probably our worst game, in a re-match against the best team we’d played this summer! 

This was not a good combination, as the final score was a tight one, where we were inched out by a score of 24-2! It was also one of my personal worst games, as I missed a couple of grounders, dropped a fly ball, chased it, and then promptly fell on my butt into the fence! We all had a lot of errors, and did not hit well as a team.

One of the things that symbolized how badly things went for me, was on my last “at bat.” 

I hit a pretty good grounder, and sprinted for first base. The throw came firing in, and with a thump, landed in the opponent’s glove. She made the catch and I was out. It’s not that I’m sexist and that a gal put me out. It was that she made a great catch, put me out, and all the while had a cigarette in her other hand! I mean, she didn’t even drop an ash off her smoke! It was deflating, especially when she looked at me, took a big puff, and said, “nice try.” 

So, I crawled back to our bench while she calmly finished her cigarette!

The second of major disasters happened when I was playing first base. The opponent who had just hit one to shallow center field, rounded the base to the left, and when the throw came to me, he realized he was caught! Oh, he was caught alright, if he had been my age! I had to chase a 20-something guy back to first base, and while chasing him, I realized there was no way I was going to catch him! All I could do was laugh, as he safely made it back! 

“Whoa, you guys, I’m seeing spots, and I think I smell burnt toast,” I groaned. That got a few laughs but absolutely no sympathy!

Even our pitcher Richard felt a little “out of sorts.” 

He made a good pitch, striking out one of their gals. Their guy on second base told Richard it was a great pitch. Richard responded about that one pitch with, “even a blind squirrel finds a nut once in a while!”

Well, we were blind squirrels that couldn’t catch too many nuts, and our batting was just about as bad!

It was the most lopsided game we’ve had all summer, and it felt like it would never end. That’s because we’d go out after three or four batters, then be out in the field for six or seven runs. It was an absolute disaster! I couldn’t wait for the end of this game. Someone on our team said he wished it was doubleheader, but I couldn’t take the thought of another drubbing … the second one might even have been worse. 

So, our “field of dreams” season has come to an end, and we sadly slunk away! Next year, I plan to make a comeback, and I’m going to be ready. 

I may even train a bit, work on my batting, and above all, stretch! I have found muscles that hurt, that I hadn’t even remembered before! Look out slo-pitch … the “Comeback Kid” is trying again in 2015! Maybe I’ll join a second league of seniors! Then I’d really be the “kid” to the old guys and gals! 

That way, I’d really be able to make it to oatmeal time at the lodge!

 

(“Fule for Thought” is a slice of life humourous column that appears in the Strathmore Times, written by long-time resident, town councillor, high school teacher, coach, husband and father of two – Pat Fule. If you would like to get in touch with Pat, you can send him an e-mail at Pat.fule@shaw.ca)