The week that was

Fule for Thought

 

On the weekend, I was hunkered down waiting for Deb to come home, and with a bit of chill in the house, turned on the gas fireplace. As it warmed the room, I began to flip channels, when what should appear on the TV, but the SHAW fireplace channel!

I was thrilled, what better way to warm the house than two fireplaces! Now, this I found humorous, and had to call Breanne.  

“Bree, come look at what we’ve got now!” She came up, looked at me and the TV, then laughingly said, “you’re a dope, Dad!”  

Just then the Shaw Fireplace guy’s arm came in and he added a log, and stoked the fire! It was as if he knew our house was cold! (I wonder why they had him wear a plaid shirt … is he a lumberjack?)

Hmmmmm, it makes you think, doesn’t it? Now, I find out Bree posted a photo of me on Facebook to humiliate me!!

If you’re a guy and your wife has ever hosted a hosted a Ladies’ Open House for various products, you’ll know why I escaped my house on Sunday. To be a guy, and to lose your man cave to an aromatherapy display is tragic. Before I left, I put on Christmas songs on all the TVs (thanks Shaw). The problem with that, is if you get a crappy Christmas song, you’re trapped … all the rooms had Yule tunes! I asked a few of the ladies if they’d rather have “The Walking Dead Season 4” Marathon on the TVs, but they declined! Huh, I wonder why? So, with about 40 ladies coming and going in our house, the smells of candles, displays, the shiny jewelry; some pals and I made a run for it! 

It was good to be in a “beverage establishment” where we could watch NFL games and “hoist a couple.”   

You can imagine our disgust when the biggest TV screen was set to the Food Channel! The Food Channel – who sets a 100” screen to that channel on a Sunday?  

So, with a bit of manly pleading, we got that one set to an actual sport … not curling, that’s for sure! Although I would have like to have seen Ron Burgundy talk about curling! With NFL football on, we were set for a while.

Our waitress was a very pleasant young lady who happened to have large dark glasses, and was wearing a t-shirt with horizontal red and white stripes. It didn’t take us long to start commenting to her that she looked like Waldo. She took it well, and said she’d heard that a lot today! It doesn’t take much to amuse me, because when she did go on a break and we got a new waitress, it gave me a chance to call out, “where’s Waldo?”  

Ah, stuff like that never gets old for me! We chuckled, the new waitress tolerated, and we ordered wings. A few of us decided to go back to the house, as the “show” was nearly done there. Big mistake! First of all, the noise level from the ladies was huge! Laughing, talking, and bargaining, took us by surprise! We even thought of another escape. It was too late, we were spotted! We now had to chat and see what our wives were buying, hear why, and then we got to help carry out display equipment. I knew we should have had that last drink a lot slower! However, I did get offered a sample of a little “Heaven on Earth.” 

It was bacon flavored chocolate … bacon! I took a piece … it was amazing! Who knew you’d be able to get two great food group items in one … bacon and chocolate!  Thanks Sam … Debbie better have ordered some (sorry, new Doc)!

So, I’m now writing to you from school Tuesday. I got stuck entering the staff parking lot, and a few colleagues helped free me from the ice-covered drift. Using Reverse and Drive, with their pushing, we were making headway. One pal named “Don” tapped my windshield to tell me which way to turn the wheel. At that moment from a windshield chip, a huge crack spread up and across! When I was free, I showed Don what happened, but I couldn’t stop laughing! I thought about the cost of a new windshield, saw Don later, and said it would’ve been cheaper to call AMA! Oh well, those are the risks of being a “good Samaritan.”

Speaking of that, I wanted to thank all the people who helped in the blizzard. On Monday night, over 135 people were rescued and brought to the Civic Centre for the night. Mats for sleeping, drinks and meals were provided, and a warm place to rest. I’ll never be able to thank you without missing some, but I hope it’s okay to try.  Thank you to: the town administration and staff, the fire departments, police, Town Public Works, pastors, SHS administration, tow truck drivers, bus drivers … you’re all heroes to me. I know how exhausted you must be, but you helped save peoples’ lives. I apologize if I missed some of you, but thanks and God bless!  

 

(“Fule for Thought” is a slice of life humourous column that appears in the Strathmore Times, written by long-time resident, town councillor, high school teacher, coach, husband and father of two – Pat Fule. If you would like to get in touch with Pat, you can send him an e-mail at Pat.fule@shaw.ca)