Parenting for dummies (and that was me!)

Fule for Thought

 

Raising kids is a very tough task. You can say goodbye to sleep-filled nights, you get thrown up on, and you deal with a LOT of crying! You also suffer every cut and scrape, whether it’s physical, or emotional. What I’ve also discovered is that there’s no finish line for feeling like a parent. In fact Debbie’s late grandmother, who was in her 90’s at the time, worried and fretted over her 75 year old son when he got a hip replacement!  You’d think at some point, the worrying would end, but I guess it doesn’t. I’ve started to remember some of the odd and funny moments of parenting. I’m sure you’ve all had many of your own, and sometimes we don’t always know what we’re doing!

For starters, about three years ago, I was reading a Reader’s Digest article on parents educating kids on the negative side of drinking alcohol. One of the things it mentioned was that you should never have your child get you any alcohol, like a beer. Huh, I did that as a young dad! I mean, I thought I was helping my kids learn their letters! I’d say “Breanne (or Brennen) can you get daddy and his friend a cold beer from the fridge? It’s the one that starts with ‘C’ for Canadian!”  

I thought this would help them … you know ‘C’ for Canadian, ‘K’ for Kokanee! AND, to help with their Math, I’d sometimes get them to find, and count the rabbits on a Pilsner bottle! It seemed like an easy way to help with the start of their Education. Not only that, but Bree has worked at BP’s in the summers of her University years, so I’d like to think I got her started in the “Service Industry!” 

They’d even learn about helping the environment, when they’d help recycle those cans and bottles! I did let them split the proceeds if they helped, so they also learned about finances. To me, it was a “win” all the way around!

Sometimes the lessons taught by a parent have to be tough ones. One scorching hot day, we went for slurpees in our “new to us” Oldsmobile. All the way home, Brennen whined about wanting his slush. Deb stayed quite calm, and I was getting pretty upset. That’s where a three year old Brennen got a harsh lesson, that he still remembers. As he climbed out of his car seat, he met Deb on the driveway. She asked, “do you still want your slush Brennen?”  

Through his upset tears and whining, he nodded fiercely. “Well here it is, Brennen!” 

With that, Debbie dumped his slush on the driveway! She told him sternly that he had to learn to be patient, and that he shouldn’t be yelling at us to get what he wants. There were more tears as we went into the house, and after awhile, we both explained why that was done. The next day, he sat quietly waiting in the back seat for his slurpee, and never uttered a peep!

The Jr. High years are tough on a parent. No matter who you are, kids test limits, and you suddenly go from a “cool” dad, to “Public Enemy Number 1.”  

When I drove Bree to school, I was not to drop her off too close, and especially not near her friends! It was a tough thing to deal with, and there were many battles through those “war years.”  

I can’t remember what caused it, but I had decided at some point, “enough was enough!”  

For whatever reason, I had decided Breanne was not going to have the shelter of her room. Oh sure, The Beach Boys sang about “In My Room,” but that was going to change. So … I took a hammer and screwdriver, and took off her door. 

For about a week, her privacy was gone, and the moods started to change! I’m not saying it was a “cure-all,” but it did surprise the heck out of her! Keep ‘em off balance! 

Speaking of surprises, Brennen and I got in to a heated argument one day while he was a high school student. He’s 24 now, and I’ve really come to respect him as a very strong minded person who knows right from wrong. However, this one day, we were verbally battling hard, and I was getting more and more frustrated. Finally, I yelled out: “if I had a condom that one day, we wouldn’t be arguing right now!!”

He was stunned … we stared at each other, and he said quietly, “you can’t say that to your kid … can you?”

We both actually laughed, and whatever was the focus of the battle was gone!

I sure don’t want to pass myself off as a parent who has all the answers. We all make it up as we go, as far as raising kids, and there are always surprises. If it feels bad, just keep hanging in there … they break away from you for a while, but they find their way back, and that is the best feeling in the world!

 

 

(“Fule for Thought” is a slice of life humourous column that appears in the Strathmore Times, written by long-time resident, town councillor, high school teacher, coach, husband and father of two – Pat Fule. If you would like to get in touch with Pat, you can send him an e-mail at Pat.fule@shaw.ca)