Exams, the finals frontier

Fule for Thought

 

For high school teachers, like the Staples’ commercial says, this is one of the “most wonderful times of the year!”  

The first semester classes are over, and the students have a bit of “healthy fear” in them!  This statement comes with a big apology to all teachers who are still slogging through the rest of January with regular classes. At high schools, we move toward what feels like an office job! We supervise exams, mark tests/essays, clean our rooms, and prepare for all new second semester classes. We even have time to go for lunches! It’s kind of a refreshing break, as the most challenging part of the job, the students, don’t have to be taught!

Sometimes, either in regular unit tests or finals, some strange things happen, and have to be dealt with, as they occur. One of my students was writing a  unit final essay on one of the novels we studied. He employed a very unusual strategy to cope with this; he went to sleep! He was tucked in behind one of the computers at the back corner of the room, so I didn’t see him right away. Now, I’ve never had a kid go to sleep during a big test, but this guy was always tired. When I did see him “out,” I did what most teachers live to do. You guessed it, I slammed the desk with my hand, to wake him! Now, I did this because I was concerned about his education. I was worried that if he stayed asleep, he might not get his paper done, and we wouldn’t want that, would we?! He seemed to be less sleepy for the rest of class, and I didn’t have to wake him again. I was thinking of testing if a warm glass of water really does have a certain effect, though!

Another semester, we were working on laptops in the same computer room. One student looked like he was working feverishly, especially whenever I came by. What he was doing, was playing a computer game, and switching back to his Microsoft Word document when I came near. I had to go into “stealth mode”! Another student (it’s funny how they turn on each other), signalled when the guy was playing the game, and I was able to see the screen. At the end of this class, the “game player” actually said he needed more time, and that he wasn’t able to get done! When I asked him what his game score was, he knew he was busted! It turned out to be a very short essay on the topic.  Hopefully, he learned a very valuable life lesson … hopefully!

Right now, we are just starting final exams in the gym. This is where a couple of hundred kids roll into the gym, find their tests, and many (with colds) try to survive. About 20 years ago, I was one of the supervising teachers in the morning finals. We use a podium with a microphone to give exam instructions for the whole gym. Once the kids got started, I looked at all the tired, rough looking kids. Some of the kids were frantically rifling through test booklets, with panicked expressions!   

“Man,” I said to the other teacher. “Look at these kids, they’re not ready for these tests. They look like they haven’t got a clue!”

“Mr. Fule,” whispered a student in the front row, “your microphone is still on!” 

I had broadcasted my little observation to the whole gym! Embarrassed, I slowly started the walk around the gym supervising the test writers. Some smiled, and some looked a bit sad, as I walked by them. I guess we can all learn during exams!

We have a test rule during finals. All students have to stay until one hour has passed.  Then, if they think they’re done, they can quietly hand in tests and leave. Now that’s the plan in a perfect world where unicorns roam fields, clouds are made of cotton candy, and it’s always sunny and warm! In the real world, at the one hour mark, there is a mass exodus of students to hand in their stuff and get out of the gym as fast as possible! It sometimes looks like a big sale at a major store … luckily no one’s been trampled yet!

There are two unpleasant things that happen during finals in the gym. One is the dreaded cold that many of the kids have. Without fail, as a supervisor, you are constantly delivering Kleenex to sick kids who didn’t bring any themselves. Numerous times, you just get to the kid in time to get sneezed on! This is probably the only time I’ve felt like an elementary teacher, because I know their resistance has to be incredible, with all the sneezes they get to wear! The second thing is more awkward, rather than unpleasant.  You may be guessing this right now. At some points in a gym where hundreds of kids are writing tests, some have to go to the bathroom. In order to make sure everything is on the “up and up,” we have to escort them into the bathroom! Now, this is probably a weird thing for the kid to go through too. I mean, who wants their old teacher to walk them in to the boys’ bathroom! So, we do, and wait just inside the door, trying to keep the exam secure, but not looking like we’ve been on “America’s Most Wanted” the week before!  Then, we walk them back out, and repeat as necessary. Huh, five years of University, and I’m a bathroom valet!

(“Fule for Thought” is a slice of life humourous column that appears in the Strathmore Times, written by long-time resident, town councillor, high school teacher, coach, husband and father of two – Pat Fule. If you would like to get in touch with Pat, you can send him an e-mail at Pat.fule@shaw.ca)