A fur rug

Fule for Thought

 

Our dog, Brodie, like other dogs, plays fetch. The problem with our dog though, is that he’ll only fetch once. I think he figures if he pushes himself too hard, something bad might happen. It’s really our fault, we picked him from a litter for that reason. We asked the breeder to call us when she had a quiet pup. We went to see the litter, and there he was, brown and white, with a brown patch over his “lazy” right eye. He was the largest in the litter, and while his brothers and sisters were yipping, yapping, and falling over each other, he crawled back to a corner to sleep. All four of said (almost at once) “THAT’S the dog for us!”  

So, it’s no wonder that Brodie is probably the world’s worst “fetcher.”  

It’s a rare occasion when he’ll fetch twice, and then he pretty much has to sit and rest. If there is a third time, we wonder if we have the right dog!

If you own a dog, and leave the house for a while, there’s nothing better than your arrival home. The dog will celebrate your return, and he is always incredibly excited and happy to see you. I swear, no matter what type of bad day you’ve had, that love and greeting you get at home, can brighten any day! This is where Brodie does his best “one-time” fetch.  

He races to his toy basket, gets “Frosty” his favorite polar bear, and races to shake the crap out of it in front of you! I’ve never understood why he does this, because that’s about the only energetic thing I’ve seen him do! I always wonder what he does while we’re away, because we see the odd toy out, but no signs of playing. I guess to him, playing with toys is just pulling them out of his basket and leaving them around the house!

He’s almost 13, and has lost a lot of hearing. At least, I think that, until I am unwrapping something from plastic. THAT’s the noise that, no matter what, will bring him running, and his begging begins. How can a dog, so deaf, he can’t hear me enter the house, hear a slight wrapper opening? He’s also a master at finding candy … he knows to search Breanne’s room, as that’s the most likely source, usually left on her floor.  

We’ve often found him with candy wrappers marking a trail right to him, as he happily licks his treasure, even if it’s a Halls throat lozenge! He’d actually be a great “bomb dog” if bombs were ever hidden in candy. Of course he’d probably explode himself! Brodie is also a dog of “irony.” 

He’s got a couple of favorite chew bones, but he’s had 11 teeth pulled, so he never really chews these. He just carries them around. Then he’ll assemble them near where he is lying, and go to sleep. His last two chew bones have lasted over a year … it’s kind of sad that he can’t really do anything with them anymore! Of course, there’s nothing like stepping on one to drive the pain through your sole. Then, he’s happy again, like you’ve found his missing treasure!

Walking our dog in the Winter is absolutely useless. Brodie hates the snow and cold, so if you DO take him out, he’ll last about a block, curl up into a ball, and refuse to move. He acts as if he’s going to die. There have been many times I’ve given up, and carried him home! All our neighbours have gotten used to these walks, or rather “carries.”

Oh well, since he’s also gotten a bit fat, it’s given me some weight training, too! Brodie also thinks every dog and person are his pals. On a Summer walk, he pulled harder and harder to see a big dog through its chain link fence. I warned Brodie not to get too close, but he was too excited to listen. Sure enough, the big dog sniffed him a few times, lifted his leg, and peed on Brodie’s head! I laughed so hard, I think it embarrassed my dog … he sort of slunk home with me … shaking off his head at times! 

We made the mistake of teaching Brodie to ring a wind chime on our back door, when he wanted to go out. It may sound cute, and like a great way to know when he has to relieve himself, BUT he rings it on a regular basis now. We trained him by giving him a treat when he went out … it was SUPPOSED to condition HIM. However, WE’RE the ones who come running when he rings, and HE gets a treat when he returns! 

I can just imagine what he’s thinking: “hmmmm … if I ring this thing, the big guy lets me out for fresh air.  Then all I have to do is slam the door with my paws, and they let me in. And to top it off, they FEED me for this? I’m livin’ the dream!”  

He’s actually taking it too far now. If he sees me on the computer or playing PS3, he’ll give me a bored look and head for that damn wind chime! It was a big mistake training him! So, if you ever see out one night carrying a brown/white fur ball, you’ll know … it’s another failed try at walking the dog!

(“Fule for Thought” is a slice of life humourous column that appears in the Strathmore Times, written by long-time resident, town councillor, high school teacher, coach, husband and father of two – Pat Fule. If you would like to get in touch with Pat, you can send him an e-mail at Pat.fule@shaw.ca)