To GPS, or not to GPS … that is the question!

Fule for Thought

 

There’s no better feeling than driving out on the open road; the sense of freedom is amazing. However, some of that free feeling can be lost when you don’t know where you’re going!

I have no sense of direction. In fact, I have trouble telling where the four compass directions are.  I think that’s why Debbie wanted a red van for our family vehicle. It’s easy to spot when wandering in a parking lot!  

We also have a Silver mini-van, and I have come to rely on the key fob. When I’m lost and shuffling along in a parking lot, I’m the guy pressing the “lock” button on the fob, so I can hear the honking horn, and look for the van’s flashing lights! Actually, another fun thing to do, is to hit the back hatch button, so that it swings up on any unsuspecting grocery bag boy! Great sport!

Deb and I were on an “Elvis” pilgrimage to Mississippi and Tennessee … going to all of Elvis’s old haunts. We even ate a burger in the same restaurant booth that a young Elvis used in Tupelo! Tennessee was where I failed the “Husband-Direction Test.”  

Debbie had given me a new GPS the previous Christmas, and I had promptly named it “Glenda” after the good witch. Driving in Nashville, I followed Glenda’s directions faithfully, until Deb felt “she” was wrong.  

In fact, she said, “choose who you’re going to listen to, Glenda, or me?”  

I was trapped … Deb’s my wife … but Glenda was a Christmas gift from Deb!  Foolishly (for you new husbands out there), I chose Glenda. As Deb smirked, the GPS led me through turns, merges, and lights, to end up at my destination … a barricaded dead end!  Huh, I felt foolish … I had chosen Glenda over my wife! Deb smiled as I sadly unplugged Glenda for awhile.

Underground parkades can be strange places to drive, as well. Have you ever caught yourself driving in a parkade, as you approach its overhead beams? Have you ever ducked while going under these? What good does it do us to duck INSIDE the vehicle going UNDER the beams, and yet we sometimes do!   

Continuing on the topic of driving, merging into a lane can also be nerve-wracking. There have been times where I’ve said “thank you” to a guy who’s let me in. He can’t HEAR me … does he KNOW how to read lips? I doubt it, but I still find myself saying “thanks!”

On our short honeymoon trip to B.C. we borrowed the motorhome of Deb’s grandparents. We were moving along smoothly when we came to one of those Avalanche “tunnels” on the Trans-Canada. I obeyed the signs and turned on my headlight. As soon as we entered, something was wrong … I could barely see anything!  

“Debbie, there’s something wrong with the headlights … I knew we should have checked over everything,” I said.  

I quickly tried to focus in this darkened tunnel. She looked at me and smiled, then said, “take off your sunglasses, Pat.” Whew! We were safe again!

I’ve come to realize that while I am a good driver, I do need a good navigator that’s not a little electronic device. Deb has a great sense of direction, and when I’m not with her … I take out Glenda. It even feels like I’m “stepping out” with another woman, when I tell people I’m taking out Glenda! Still, Deb and I make a good team: I drive and she tells me “where to go!” … and I do! Wait a minute … “I do”… those are the two words that got me in trouble 27 years ago!

(“Fule for Thought” is a slice of life humourous column that will appear in the Strathmore Times, written by long-time resident, town councillor, high school teacher, coach, husband and father of two – Pat Fule. If you would like to get in touch with Pat, you can send him an e-mail at Pat.fule@shaw.ca)