They’re action figures, NOT dolls!

Fule for Thought

 

Awhile back, someone told me that my English classroom looked just like a 13 year-old’s bedroom. To explain, along with typical literature/literary device posters, I have a lot of “Pop Culture” posters like super heroes, music-themed ones, as well as cars, guitars … basically anything that is suitable for school and is colourful. 

In addition, I have The Beatles’ action figures from the old 1960’s cartoon. You’ll notice I said action figures, not dolls, as some of my colleagues have called them!

To me, dolls mostly carry the image of little girls dressing up their toys in outfits that are interchangeable. They may then have little scenarios/adventures with them. The ones I had were superhero or music figures. I truly felt they were an interesting part of my classroom’s décor! So, did the students at times!

In one of my classes a few years ago, I had to take a student who’d missed some classes, to a supervised room, where he could write a test he missed. Now one of the “rules” of teaching is to NOT leave your classroom unattended for long, or at all. Sure enough, even though I’d only been gone minutes, the damage to my action figures was disturbing. SOMEONE had taken all my figures and posed them in shocking positions! It was very traumatic to see my heroes like Superman, the Flash, Spider-Man, and Wonder Woman in poses that CANNOT be described in this family paper! I was stunned, but as in all situations with high school students, I could not let them see me ‘sweat”!  

I quickly re-positioned  them, and thought (like Deb often does) I’d use this as a teaching moment.  

“Okay, you guys … ha ha … good joke!”  

“Yeah, you got me … but you should know that none of this could happen to Spider-Man, his spider sense would have warned him!”  

“You can’t expect that a hero like Superman would be involved with this!”  

“Oh sure, I know Batman lives in a cave with his ward Robin, and a butler named Alfred, but that doesn’t mean anything!”  

I decided I was digging myself in deeper, and steered them back to the unit we were working on, BEFORE this horrible act!

A few weeks later, I was again stunned to see four of my action figures were gone from the shelf top! I interrogated all my class, but to no avail. Then a day later, I received the first of four photos of a Super Hero figure in dangerous predicaments. Yes, two students (who I later found out were on my Sr. Girls’ Basketball team) had kidnapped them, and with each photo, I had a task to perform for their return! 

First, there was a photo of Superman tied to a green rock … I could only worry of his pain next to what was obviously Kryptonite! Short directions were given on a note that said I had to sing the theme from “Barney” on the school intercom for his safe return! What could I do, but give in and sing?! After my sad rendition of the song … Superman mysteriously returned.

Next came photos of the human torch help upside down over a beaker of water!  

“Dash” from “The Incredibles” with REAL scissor blades poised around his neck, and lastly “The Hulk” with what looked like a big nail through him. Each day and its photo had me do different things to get my action figures back! I had to skip (with a rope) down the hall at lunch, shoot 3-point shots until I scored one. Luckily, I hit my second one (Thank goodness for that PE Degree!).  

I wish I could tell you the final ransom act I had to do, but I can’t remember; I must have blocked out that trauma! Finally, I had gotten all the heroes back; it was a harsh lesson!

I DID learn valuable lessons over those days. You can’t trust high school students, as they often have devious minds. You have to keep a sense of humour, but it’s still a question of “them vs. us”, and you have to protect yourself.  

My action figures are now safely in storage, except for the Beatles and Elvis … they wouldn’t DARE touch those! Or … WOULD they?

(“Fule for Thought” is a slice of life humourous column that will appear in the Strathmore Times, written by long-time resident, town councillor, high school teacher, coach, husband and father of two – Pat Fule. If you would like to get in touch with Pat, you can send him an e-mail at Pat.fule@shaw.ca)