Talkin’ ‘bout my G-G-Generation!

Fule for Thought

 

I think I got my first age spot recently. I say “I think,” because my eye sight is really bad up close now, so I need reading glasses to actually SEE this new age spot! Anyways, with the glasses, I saw what I THINK an age spot is supposed to look like. Didn’t they used to call them liver spots? … Hmmmmmm … I really HAVEN’T been too kind to my liver over the years. It IS supposed to re-generate after awhile, isn’t it? So, I have this age spot on my forehead … do you let it sit … do you zap it with a laser … do you cover it with foundation?  (I wonder how I know it’s called “foundation”) … weird! Is it something to fear? Is it a badge of honour? Or is it just a spot? … I’m not sure.

I also bruise like a peach now, and even the slightest hit leaves a purplish mark. It even feels like a stiff breeze would bruise! Are we SUPPOSED to bruise this easily? It DOES look like Debbie has been attacking me at times! Even one of my former students has left his mark on me. While trying to (I assume) to be funny, he pinched the back of my arm. 

It was a good one … I remember screaming like a little girl when it happened. Without any exaggeration, the bruise covered most of my tricep (and YOU thought I never went to my anatomy classes! In fact, anatomy and athletic injuries were my favourite university classes … thanks, Dexter! )  

So … back to my bruise. I don’t know why this guy did it, but the bruise he gave me got SO big and purple, that it took on a life of its own! I named it “Gary” after my brother, to remind me of the many times we attacked each other as kids! (Once he drilled me in the head with a D battery!)  

So, again, back to the bruise named “Gary.” It ached and burned, and took two weeks to finally fade. The high school kids would stop me and ask if they “could take a look at Gary!”

Besides the age spot and bruising, I also am seeing worse up close. Coupled with the odd shaky fingers, texting phone messages to my kids is very interesting. It’s kind of like an adventure to see what you meant to say, and what you really tuped … I mean TYPED! I thought it was kind of funny when I first started to have trouble reading small print, but that may ALSO have been around the time I took the Midol for a headache … WAS it an accident? If you remember, it sure worked! However, it didn’t make me like “Bridges of Madison County” … how DARE you, Clint! Actually, if you only had three hours to live, I’d recommend that movie to you, because the time would REALLY drag … you may even WISH for the end to come! I’ll never forgive Deb for making me watch that one … NEXT time, SHE watches “The Expendables” with me …. Bombs … guns … explosions … mayhem!!

Maybe you have also found that your hearing is also decreasing. I blame most of my hearing loss on the 70s! Seeing a band like KISS in concert left me with ringing ears for two days, that I thought was “kind neat” at the time. NOW, I know, that ringing in the ears is not a good thing! I’m not trying to make light of it, but sometimes a bit of hearing loss can come in handy, especially, if you’re being told for the third time to take out the garbage! It’s WAY easier to say you never heard her at first. It IS a bit dangerous, but why NOT “live on the edge?” … Here’s a fun thing for you to try at your next doctor’s appointment. When he or she asks how things are, say: “I’m having a bit of trouble with my ears.”  

Then when he or she asks you to explain, say: “pardon?” It’s great fun, although MY doctor doesn’t seem to get the joke!

I DO feel a bit lucky, I’ve been able to keep my hair  (although, by the time you read this, I could be bald!)  

I volunteered to have my head shaved if Strathmore High raised $3,500 for the Terry Fox Run. Since it’s our first run, I don’t know if I should be encouraging them to bring in a lot of money, or save my hair! (Although, I KNOW the answer to that one … we need to raise a lot of money for research!)  

My hair was once, maybe like yours, a nice shade of brown. Now, the brown has been replaced by the whiter ones, but I REALLY think I know where some came from. There’s some from the high school students I taught, and of course, raising a Jr. High daughter didn’t hurt either! I’ve even discovered that I’m old enough to be in the Happy Gang! It’s not even so happy that I’ve gone from the youngest teacher on staff, to one of the last four to have taught at Samuel Crowther! The years have a way of sneaking up on us, and pinching us right on the … !!!

 

(“Fule for Thought” is a slice of life humourous column that will appear in the Strathmore Times, written by long-time resident, town councillor, high school teacher, coach, husband and father of two – Pat Fule. If you would like to get in touch with Pat, you can send him an e-mail at Pat.fule@shaw.ca)