“Days of my life … in teaching!”

Fule for Thought

 

Every job has its ups and downs, and sometimes people need to find humour in their day-to-day work. In my 29 years of teaching, there hasn’t been a day when I haven’t laughed, and since I’m around teenagers all day, laughter has also kept me sane! So … I thought I’d share some of the strange and funny things that stand out in my memory over the years. 

I was teaching High School English in a portable, in what is now Crowther Memorial Jr. High. My class followed one of the morning breaks, and as of class time, “Johnny” (false name to protect him AND me!) was not in class. I asked the class if they knew where he was, and as I’ve come to see with teenagers, they casually ‘threw him under the bus!’ A few replied, “Oh, he’s still in the parking lot … he’s in his car, with his girlfriend!”

Huh, I thought … he’s late for class … probably will be absent … and he’s in that parking lot, just outside my window!  “Okay kids, come with me, we’re going on a field trip!” 

So, I took my whole English class out to the parking lot, and we surrounded his car!  Luckily, “Johnny” and his girlfriend weren’t doing anything shocking … they were just chatting and smoking. He looked around with a stunned face to see all 30 of our faces looking in through all his windows. I can’t tell you what word he mouthed, but he was surprised! I motioned for him to roll down his window and said, “when it comes to school, we deliver!” The end result was that he came back to class with the rest of us, we all laughed, and we even carried on with the lesson.

Any time you have teenaged guys in a PE class, sparks can sometimes fly. In one smaller PE 30 class, we were involved in a competitive Floor Hockey game. I’m sure we were playing for the Stanley Cup, because two guys got very angry, and started shoving each other, about to fight. I ran over to head off the fight, but one of my Gr.12 guys beat me there. With no hesitation, he said, “guys, guys … I can sense there’s a lot of sexual tension between you two, but …”  

Well, needless to say, the fight broke up, as we all burst out laughing, even the two would-be fighters. This one high school student used humour to disarm what could have been a very bad situation, and I’ve never forgotten it.

In another English class, one of my guys fell asleep. Usually, I like to wait until they’re in a real deep, REM sleep, then I smack the desk as hard as I can. This time though, I thought it’d be great if we could all leave him in the class alone. So, we carried on talking, as I set the clock ahead by an hour and a half. I motioned for everyone to head to the door, and we began to file out.  

Unfortunately, I only got half the class out before he woke up, but he was pretty embarrassed at the laughter he received. The good thing was, he never fell asleep again! Sometimes I’d look at him, motion to the clock and the door, and just smile. No words had to be said!

One time, some of my students turned back the humour on me! One bright June morning, as I was getting ready to come to school, I opened the front room blinds. Debbie heard me yell something, I’m not even sure what I said, as I looked out to see our front lawn. There, perfectly arranged, was some old mismatched living room set, done up nicely as a room on my lawn!  

It had couches, a chair, table and end tables, and even an old beat up standing lamp! We were stunned, then we laughed, then we panicked, as we didn’t know what to do!  

I called the Town, but they informed me it wasn’t ‘Heavy Item Garbage Day’ and there was nothing they could do! I had to leave it like that for a few hours, while I rounded up guys on spares with trucks, to remove it all.  

The neighbours enjoyed the show, and I learned first hand how funny, and creative high school kids could be! By the way, a few years later, two ‘newly official’ adults came up to me at the Station, and admitted to the ‘crime.’ We all had a great laugh, and I was totally surprised!