Me and water don’t get along

Fule for Thought

 

I’m not very good in water, in fact I’m terrible. Not only am I terrible, I’m afraid when I can’t touch bottom. That’s why going in the town’s dunk tank this past Summer was so tough. Each time I hit the water felt like the first time (reference to an old Foreigner song there), and I was scared each time a kid hit the target with a ball (by the way, letting a kid walk up and hit it with their hand is a cruel thing!!).

Sadly I had to take Swimming as part of my B.P.E. degree. In the mornings I would head to the Senior White Level class, and at night I was registered in “Aquatics Anonymous!”  I learned to let go of the pool edge while also blowing bubbles! I felt sorry for my morning instructor; he was the U of C swim coach and was not used to someone like me … a panicking rock that also sunk quite well.

I trusted him though, and when he told me the afternoon class was smaller and better for me, I jumped at switching classes. It was in the DEEP end! Never forgot his name … I’m biding my time for revenge! 

Water next raised its ugly head again on my honeymoon in B.C. Debbie thought it would be a great “couples thing” to rent a paddle boat and head  out into the lake. I hesitantly agreed and put on the heaviest, thickest life jacket I could find. I began to tighten up as we paddled farther out from shore; I wanted to tell Deb we should head back in … I was FREAKING out! Then slowly, I looked to the left of our paddle boat in time to see some 10 year old kid walk by! He was wading … in water … up to his waist! I don’t go in water anymore unless it’s a hot tub, or a REAL tub. Debbie’s never asked me to boat again … at least until she read my latest life insurance policy!

(“Fule for Thought” is a slice of life humourous column that will appear in the Strathmore Times, written by long-time resident, town councillor, high school teacher, coach, husband and father of two – Pat Fule. If you would like to get in touch with Pat, you can send him an e-mail at Pat.fule@shaw.ca)